Disease, addiction, & externalizing imbalance

Growing up in the 60's as a teenager by 72 I always remember peace and love,
revolution, and sex - drugs- rock n roll. It wasn't until the mid 80's that I thought of
cutting back, except for pot! My spiritual high!
Disease of addiction moral deficiency, psychological imbalance, genetic predisposition.
How can we describe it?
Genetic predisposition I liked because it was easy to blame others. Then in the 90's I
liked the disease concept, again I didn't have to take responsibility! Depression to bipolar
(self medicating) I liked that too. It made me feel like I was controlling something.
Moral deficiency - that one always disturbed me. I always felt I had a "good heart" and
was "sensitive", and I didn't want to believe I was a bad. Person!
Mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual balance. My ego always said I was less than,
and on drugs it said I was the "shit" or "cool"!
Chubby kid, buff teenager, skinny adult, which one was "ok"? Emotional - didn't go
there, happy and mad was enough. Spiritual, that distant yearning that aways
whispered for me to connect.
Dis-ease, not comfortable with self! Physically abused, sexually abused, emotionally
disconnected, religiously afraid, yep all of the above.
Treatment centers, 12 steps, prisons, medications - yes all of the above.
The first time I did reflexology on a person I got the first step, " I could help people!". A
huge key for me. I kept smoking pot, but had "no" desire for anything else.
I relapsed with "failure" many times, but now I relapsed do to success!
Spiritual dis-ease. Walking around the prison track, I heard a voice, "you never have to
use again."
It's now been 6 years with no desire to get out of myself. Yes, it is work mental physical,
emotional, spiritual and energetically - connecting to all there is, loving self and others,
and non judgement of self and others.
When do you want to quit, and what helped you decide. I think some times you just
have to say "*!#¥ it" and move forward to the next moment.

The dehp Recovery Blog

In a world of commercialism, addiction, excess and greed it is hard to find a place you can turn too that someone is not wanting something from you, trying to sell you something, or even has the time to listen. The dehp recovery blog is that place.
It is set up to share your journey of recovery, find out what others are doing and work together in staying in a place of presence.
It is not designed as a suicide hotline, to take the place of your counselor, or intended for one on one converstaions.
It is a group hub where the support and encouragement of the “many” shared voices can uplift and brighten your day. A place of dehp sharing!

JS